


When You Let Her Go

by DaemonRose, RoseWin67 (DaemonRose)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Implied Castiel/Sam Winchester, Supernatural Rare Pair Big Bang 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaemonRose/pseuds/DaemonRose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaemonRose/pseuds/RoseWin67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world in which Jo wakes up after she's been in a coma is scarred and has only nearly averted the Apocalypse. When she returns from college and decides to go back hunting, the world isn’t the same. Neither is Dean when she sees him again after five years.<br/>A case leads Jo to Dean when she thinks he’s dead, but he is alive and a demon. Fortunately, Sam has a cure.<br/>Now Dean and Jo have to battle the demons of the past. It’s a mess of emotions and in the end the encounter with the demon helps Jo figure out at least some of it or maybe just the most important one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> Wow my first big (mini)bang. That was exciting. The wonderful art is by red_b_rackham.

** **

 

Clean white is the first thing she sees when she wakes up from her coma. There is still a ringing from the explosion in her ears and she can still smell and taste burning flesh. Jo knows it must have been some time since then, once she recognises that she is lying in a hospital bed. She coughs, struggles to breathe for a bit and then removes the breathing mask that is on her nose and mouth and the IV in her arm. The doctors must have done amazing work or she has to be so full of medication that she doesn’t feel any pain at all. She clumsily removes the bandages around her left hand and arm. Not one scratch is on her pale skin underneath. With a frown, she looks around for the button to call a nurse but her eyes find a note lying on the night stand.

 

_You’ve been in a coma. Cas healed you._

_I’m sorry what happened. It‘s over now._

_You won’t see me again. Don’t try._

_– Dean_

 

Jo stares at the ripped off piece of paper in her hand for a long time. Then, after a moment has passed, she blinks and looks around to find a duffel bag lying on the floor beside her bed. She picks it up and opens it. Inside, she finds clothes, a wallet with money, fake ids and a cell. She turns on the cell to check the date. In the contact list are two numbers. Castiel’s and Bobby's. Not Sam’s. Not Dean’s.

She huffs and puts the cell back down to get some clothes out. Slowly, with the bundle of a T-shirt, a plaid over shirt and a pair of jeans she walks into the bathroom to put them on.

In the mirror above sink, she sees her face. She looks a bit pale but not like she has been in a coma for months. There’s no smile and her hair is a mess. She tries to smooth it down and wishes for a hair tie. Dressed, she goes back and looks around the room. Jo takes the bag and leaves the room. In the hall she runs into a nurse who wants to put her back into the bed and run some tests to check if she’s alright. After Jo firmly makes her understand that she is fine and doesn’t need any tests, the nurse lets her go and Jo leaves the hospital.

 

Outside, she stands still for a moment, takes a deep breath of air in a brand new world and squints against the warm sun that shines in Springfield. Determined, she makes a decision. But first she makes two calls and goes to the nearest restaurant where she eats so much as if she had been starving. Apparently, sleeping for months has made a girl hungry.

 

~*~

 

Five years later the blonde woman is wiping tables in a roadhouse in South Dakota after she quit college again when the angels fell. Demons and angels battling on earth called her back into the hunting life. Going back to college is a decision she made after she woke up from her coma, finding a world that had avoided the apocalypse, leaving Sam Winchester in Hell with Lucifer and Dean, broken with some woman and her kid. Obviously, the older Winchester brother wants her to stay away because he feels guilty about what happened to Jo and her mother. Of course, she grieves her mother and sometimes blames both brothers for everything. But the Winchesters did beat the Devil, sacrificing themselves to save the world. That’s what her mum did, too.

 

Now, Jo isn’t angry any more. She still grieves her mother, of course, but she has forgiven the Winchesters. She’s forgiven Dean. Maybe she hasn’t completely forgiven him that he left her just like this, without saying goodbye, only leaving a note. It’s not that she doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want her to see him again because she knows him and his guilt trips well enough. Nevertheless, it hurts when she hears that Dean was living a normal life with this other woman that Jo doesn’t even know anything about. That is another motivation for her to move on, too. So, she does what her mother would have wanted and went back to college. She tries hard anyway. Still, she has her eyes and ears open for anything supernatural. She misses hunting, the adventure and a little bit she even misses the Winchesters. Though she has thought about trying to contact them, she knows it wouldn’t be a good idea to just bask in wherever they are at the moment.

 

A lot has changed. There’s a new king of Hell. Sam is back but soulless. Castiel works with Crowley. Purgatory exists and Jo has to fight against Leviathans between college courses.

 

The death of Bobby leaves a deep hole in her heart and the hunter network. Jo tries her best to help to fill the gap. She still has a lot of connections to other hunters, even more since she is now in contact with new people in the business, such as Garth or Charlie.

Then, she hears of the angel and demon tablets and that the gates of heaven and hell can be shut and the Winchesters have found a way to cure demons.

But when the angels fall and everything goes crazy again, she can’t just sit there in her room on campus. She gets a job and goes back to hunting the things that go bump in the night.

Jo doesn’t exactly know why and what went wrong but demons are still on Earth and angels are scattered all over the world.

Then, Crowley’s battling for the throne of Hell with Abaddon while angels kill each other. Pretty bad news but not the worst. Sometimes Jo wishes herself back to when she had to beg her mum or Dean to help kill a ghost or a wendigo.

Dean killed Abaddon. Good news, actually.

Metatron killed Dean. That’s the last thing Jo heard and that’s definitely the worst.

Dean Winchester is dead.

 

~*~

 

The Roadhouse she is working at isn’t like the one her mother owned, a place for hunters to crash and collect information, to get help and advice and something to drink.

This one isn’t like a home to her. It’s just her workplace in the meantime. She just realised that it’s been almost two years that she’s coming back here to work between hunting jobs. A lot of hunters come here nowadays and she likes to catch up on what is going on while she has to work for her room above the bar and the ammo for the hunts.

Today is quiet, though. The usual guy, Tony, he sits on his table in the back, and three hunters at the front of the bar, drinking beer and sharing stories. Jo listens, draws another beer for Stewart and gives away a story of her own.

 

So far, nothing supernatural is happening in the area but when it’s getting late and the only ones left are Joe and Steward, retired hunters who come to share stories and knowledge, Jo turns on the police radio until the elderly men are gone too and Jo cleans up and closes the roadhouse for the night and tugs herself into bed.

 

It’s in the morning, when she hears about a murder in North Dakota. When she looks deeper into it, some research and some calls to her connections in the North later, she finds that this murder somehow could be connected to a bar fight that happened earlier. The victim has been seen at the bar right before the fight.

She finds a picture and the name. Some more research on him and she knows something must have happened to him about six months ago. He’s been missing since then. Could be a case.

Jo waits to get the police report from her new hacker friend Simon, who replaced Ash and now Charlie since she’s in Oz. Jo wants to be sure that it’s a case before she drives up there.

Meanwhile, she reads about the bar fight, a guy going nuclear, beating up another one over a girl. Could be nothing, could be possessed or something. Could be the killer. Simon sends the report. Stab wound, not your average knife. There is more information, not in the police report. Traces of sulphur were found.

Ding, ding, ding. A case.

Either the guy was killed by a demon or someone killed a demon. However, something is going on.

 

There aren’t actually many weapons that can kill demons so that narrows it down. Jo calls Sam. He called her to give her his number after Dean came back from Purgatory and Sam was hunting again.

 

When Jo can’t reach the younger Winchester, she gets the feeling that something is going on and it’s nothing good. After she’s heard that Dean died, which hurt enough already and she couldn’t even properly say goodbye, she was worried about Sam, mostly because she thinks he could do something stupid and now she thinks that maybe he already has done so.

 

Jo tries to concentrate on finding out who killed that guy who probably was possessed by a demon and it was most likely that he was killed by another demon. Or an angel. Jo knows she has to be prepared for everything and anything.

Equipped with a salt loaded shotgun, knives, bottles with holy water and the exorcism in her mind and on her cell, the blonde hunter makes her way to said bar.

 

The focus of her investigation is of course on the murder and the victim and anything suspicious that could be demon or angel activity.

She knows she is in the right place when she enters the Black Spur. It’s just a feeling. A blonde waitress asks Jo if she can get her something and Jo is about to ask her questions when she freezes.

A short man in a black suit and with a British accent raises her suspicion. She watches him for a moment before she recognises him. She hasn’t met him personally, yet thank God, or whoever. But she has heard enough about him.

 

Nervous and with a pounding heart, she clutches the gun in her pocket, forgetting that it’s useless against the king of Hell.

He sees her too now and from the look he gives her he somehow recognises her. Or at least he knows she’s a hunter. A sly smile is on his face. Jo braces herself as he walks over to her.

“Hello, dear,” he says and it sounds a bit amused. “What can I do for you?” Jo pouts a little. “What makes you think that I want anything from you?” The demon laughs. Jo freezes when her brain suddenly gets the information that this could most likely be her end. How could she have known that she would run into the arms of the king of hell of all nasty things out there? Not even the Winchesters and Castiel have been able to kill him yet. He could kill Jo with a snap of his finger right now. Jo swallows.

 

“Cocky and brave. I like that.” Crowley says and Jo glares, trying to keep her calm and act like a professional hunter. She is a professional hunter now after all.

“Get away from her, Crowley.”

Jo’s heart skips a beat. The voice is darker, almost a growl, but still familiar to her. Eyes wide and lips parted, she stares at the man who has just shown up behind Crowley. Jo hasn’t seen him in years. She will ever forget his face and even though she would never admit it but she is so damn happy to see him. Also, she couldn’t be happier about his timing to save her from Crowley.

“Is this your new fling or something? I see you have a type.”

“It’s none of your business,” Dean snarls. He looks at Jo. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Nice to see you again too, Deano.”

“Crowley would you give us a private moment.” Crowley doesn’t look very pleased. Jo is confused.

“Can’t that wait? I have a Hell to rule and I still don’t know if I can count on you.”

Dean huffs. “We talk about it later. She can’t wait. Capiche?”

He grabs Jo and takes her to his car.

“Dean, what’s going on? What was that with Crowley?”

“We kinda work together. Or rather he wants me to rule hell with him but I don’t really wanna go back there y’know. How’s college been?”

Jo ignores the question with a frown. “Mind filling me in what happened? How are you alive? I was working a case and the lead I was following brought me here. To Crowley. To you. What’s going on? What are you doing here?” Dean smirks, walking closer, and pushes a hand gently through her hair as his eyes flash black. Jo gasps and steps back against the Impala, the smooth cool black metal pressed against her back. “What?”

“Sorry that I’m not what you expected to see. Things have changed.”

“Who are you, what happened to Dean?” The demon laughs.

“It’s me. I’m Dean. Just without that whole self-loathing and guilt soaked crap of a soul.”

“But how?”

“Ask Crowley.” Jo shakes her head in disbelieve. That can’t be true. Not Dean. Not a demon. What is she supposed to do? What is he going to do with her?

“So, what you’re gonna do with me now? Killing me? You could have left me with Crowley.”

“Oh no, I won’t kill you. Not now. If you are a nice girl.”

Jo shudders in disgust.

He grabs her arm and touches her face. “We have a lot to catch up.”

Jo tries to escape but his grip is too strong. With his other hand he reaches for her knife.

 

“Don’t try.” Dean says and sounds amused.

Jo starts panicking because she doesn’t know what he's up to; what he would do to her. She struggles and kicks his shin, it doesn’t do anything to him, she tries to hit his groin but he has her other arm too, and spins her around and holds her arms together on her back as he pushes her forward into the side of the car.

“Dean, please. Let me go.” The glare she sends him over her shoulder is supposed to hide her fear. It’s useless; he knows that she is scared anyway.

“I rather keep you,” the demon says near to her ear and a shudder runs down her spine. Jo wants the old Dean back.

 

“Please, I won’t be in our way,” she begs with a small voice.

“I don’t believe you. You’re a hunter, I’m a demon. I’m sure you’re gonna tell my brother and that’s something I can’t let happen, darling. I broke up with Sam and he better stays away.” Jo is wondering if Sam knows what has happened to Dean.

The strain on her arms starts to pain her and Jo is sure there’ll be bruises on her wrists later. However, she doesn’t stop fighting against the hard grip the demonic version of Dean has her in. She gasps as he pulls her up and holds her own knife against her throat.

 

“Okay. Okay. I do anything you want. I won’t run and tell Sam, okay? Just don’t hurt me please.” Jo hopes that if he lets her live she’ll get the chance to get away and contact Sam or anyone who might be able to bring Dean back. She’s heard of the possibility to cure demons.

“ _Anythin’_ I want? You sure?” Jo closes her eyes and bites her lip. “Thought so,” Dean chuckles. “You don’t wanna do this,” she whimpers. “Dean, that’s not you.”

“It’s all me. And I like it.”

“Then, why don‘t you just kill me?”

“What would be the fun in that?” Jo lets out a suppressed hiss because the knife is still pressed against her throat and already starts cutting through the surface of the skin.

 

“What do you want?” She gets out between her teeth.

“You.” A frown shows that she doesn’t really understand what he means. “You know that I wanted you back then when we were together.” A lump forms in Jo’s throat. She doesn’t trust to swallow and just inhales deeply. She feels Dean right behind her and hates that she can’t see him to read his face or his eyes.

Everything she can do to escape would risk that her throat is getting cut. “I said I wouldn't run so do you mind putting that picker away. I’m sure you have a bigger one anyway.”

 

“I sure have.” Jo can hear the grin. To her surprise, he lowers the knife and immediately she turns her head and tries to pull out of his hold once again. Promptly, her hand goes to her throat when she realises she’s free and she squints at the man before her with suspicion. Why would he let her go? She thinks about running but that would only prompt him to kill her sooner so she stays in her place, heart racing. Dean puts the knife away in his jacket and makes a gesture to Jo to get in the car. With her stomach in a knot she does.

 

Dean gets a call while they drive. Jo doesn’t know who it was but it’s about Sam. Shortly after that, they stop at another bar. Dean doesn’t want to drink Jo figures when he drags her down to the basement. Between boxes of liquor he ties her up.

“Just have to make sure you keep your promise.” Then, he gags her. “I have a meet up with my brother. But when I’m done with him I’ll be all yours.” Jo whimpers as Dean leaves and locks her in. It’s dark now; the tiny window barely lets some light in. She tries to scream but the gag does its job and muffles every sound. Her only hope is that eventually someone needs some supplies and comes down here to find her. But she is hidden in the dark and she can hardly move in her restrains. Slowly, she moves, looking around to find something to cut the cords on her wrists and ankles. Suddenly, she feels weird, her limbs go numb and then she passes out.

 

 

 

 

When she comes around, her head hurts where she hit the hard ground and it’s still dark around her. Jo has no clue how long she was out. Dean must have done something to her. She tries to see through the window but she has to crane her neck painfully to get a little glimpse from her position behind the stack of boxes. There’s more light coming through now so it must have been about twelve hours since she came here. She listens closely. There’s no sounds or movement from above or outside that she can hear. She wonders if there even is still someone there or if Dean has everyone –

At that moment, Jo hears something. Footsteps. Someone is coming. Maybe Dean comes back. If it’s not Dean though, that means someone has found her. She starts shouting. “Here. I’m here. Help me! Help!”

She coughs and spits around the gag and thrashes around to make as much noise as she possibly can.

 

The next sixty seconds feel like hours of eternity until she hears the footsteps coming nearer and when a familiar voice yells her name, tears of joy escape her tired eyes. Then, the door bursts open and it’s Sam.

The younger Winchester rushes to her side and frees her from her restrains. “Oh, thank god,” she cries out.

“You alright?” he asks and Jo can only nod and hugs Sam once she’s free.

“Come on,” he picks her up, she holds onto him and together they walk out.

It’s the first time she’s been in the bunker. Jo had heard of it, but to see it herself is much more impressive. That is the Winchester’s headquarter now. Wow. She is a little bit jealous.

 

Sam takes her to one of the rooms and orders her to get some food and rest but the blonde woman protests and demands to have a shower first. “Sure,” Sam smiles and shows her the bathroom.

“And then,” Jo orders with a firm voice, “I want to know what the hell happened and how you’ve found me. I wanna know everything. You owe me that much.” Sam nods. “Yeah, okay.”

The shower feels amazing, the hot water soothes her sore bones and the water pressure is better than in any shower she had in a long time.

 

Afterwards, she feels more relaxed but also how hungry she is. Apparently, she’s been locked up for almost two days. Thankfully, she finishes off the meal Sam made her and then she is ready to talk about the recent events. She is dying to know what happened to Dean. She thinks Sam must have found him and found out what he has done.

“So,” she starts as she walks into the library with a steaming cup of tea and joins Sam and Cas at the table.

 

The hunter and the angel fill her in about what happened after Dean died; how he was gone and how Sam found him and found out that he has become a demon. Sam got kidnapped by Cole. That’s why he couldn’t answer her call and then he caught Dean. Sam and Cas tried to cure Dean and succeeded in the end.

Then, it’s Jo’s turn to tell them what happened to her. She explains how she was working and heard of the demon that was killed and how she accidentally found Dean and that he had locked her up all the time.

“How is he? Can I see him? Please, I need to talk to him,” she asks with pleading eyes.

“Yes, sure. He is in his room,” Sam says.

“He is awake. I’ve just checked on him while you were in the shower,” Cas adds.

Jo nods with a smile and goes to Dean’s room. A bit nervous she hesitates when she stands at the door.

 

Seconds pass after her knock. A muffled affirmation from the other side makes her open the door at last and she steps inside Dean’s room. He sits on his bed and looks a little tired around the eyes and older. Still, handsome though. Jo smiles softly at him and the corners of his mouth lift, too, as he sees her. Although, the smile doesn’t reach his eyes, still makes them crinkle at the corners like they used to. Hell does that to a man, Jo thinks.

“Hi,” she says and he averts his eyes. She knows why. He hasn’t changed. Another step towards him and a deep breath. She holds it for a second.

“It wasn’t you.” Dean sighs. He knows that and Jo knows he still feels guilty and responsible for everything.

“In a way it was me. And I’m still cursed.”

Jo can see where his hand rests over the spot on his arm where the mark of Cain is. Sam has told her everything about it, how it affects Dean.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says softly. “Man up. You had worse.” He looks up at her and wants to say something but Jo shakes her head. “Don’t. You know I forgive you.”

 

She sits down beside him and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to get the mark off and we can forget about all this.”

Dean huffs. “Good luck.” Jo rolls her eyes. “Dean!” She gently punches him on the arm.

“I nearly got you killed, left you, locked you up and almost killed you again.”

“But you didn’t,” Jo grins. She reaches out, gently touches his cheek. There’s so much pain and guilt in his eyes that it breaks her heart.

“I forgive you,” she insists again. “And Sam does, too. Only you need to forgive yourself, Dean.”

He is very close; she can count the freckles on his nose if she wants to. They look at each other for a moment in silence. “I’ll try?” Dean finally says and fails to smile. Jo does it for him.

"That's good enough for now I guess."

 

They sit together, shoulders touching and Jo’s heartbeat speeds up by having Dean so close. A familiar feeling washes over her. His eyes seem to be lighter now, still so green yet and heavy with what they have seen. Sadness tightens her chest and she has the urge to touch and comfort him. She hesitates for the time of a heartbeat and then takes his face gently in her hands. Her gaze drops from his eyes to his slightly parted lips. Want fills her heart then. Dean is still, eyes shut, breath even. Jo leans in, holding her breath but when their lips are about to touch Dean opens his eyes and pulls away.

"Sorry," he mutters as he looks away. Jo sighs. "It's okay. It's too soon. Things have changed."

“I need time,” Dean says softly. Jo nods sympathetically. “I can wait.”

 

 

They give Dean space and time to let him rest. Jo wants to leave the next day but Sam suggests that she should stay a bit longer to get herself some rest as well. What he doesn’t say is that she is also safer in the bunker.

“If Dean is okay with that then I would like to stay and catch up with you guys. I could also help with the research on the mark of Cain problem.” Dean has no objections and over the following week the tension between them fades.

 

Dean is almost back to being himself again as Jo knows him. Of course the rough, worn edge on him is more in view and he’s easy to snap. But he plays it down as always. He cracks jokes and mocks his brother and Cas. Only around Jo he is attentive at first. Quickly, however, even she isn’t spared by his mockery.

Sam and Dean go on a little vacation while Jo stays with Cas in the bunker doing some research on how to remove the mark of Cain from Dean’s arm. When the brothers are back they decide to go back to hunting soon and Cas goes to do some research on his own in his angel way.

 

One evening Jo has dinner with Sam and Dean in the library. She is a little exhausted and frustrated that they lack new results on Dean’s curse problem. She agrees that Dean needs some distraction and he rather goes back to work than sitting on his butt in the bunker.

 

Jo then goes back to the road house but stays in touch with the Winchesters helping them out on cases and research or just hanging out for a movie night. It’s almost back to normal between her and Dean. Sam even sometimes leaves them alone on purpose. She thinks he doesn’t do it only to give them space to bond again but also because so he can meet Cas alone. She doesn’t say anything to Sam. One night though, when she is alone with Dean drinking beer and they got distracted from their research for a case by Dean showing her funny videos on YouTube, she suddenly asks with a grin, “What do you think Sam and Cas are doing?” Dean is oblivious and only shrugs. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” she giggles and drinks from her beer.

She senses that it's an awkward topic for Dean so she drops it, reluctantly though. Her curiosity has never really done any harm and she hopes to have a casual light conversation with Dean. “I was just wondering.”

 

Now, Dean smiles slightly. “I don't think I want to know. They're nerds.” Jo shakes her head and likes the fondness in Dean’s tone and smile when he speaks about his little brother and his best friend.

Then, suddenly she finds the fond look directed at herself and she blushes a little. They sit very close and she just has to lean it. She does not need to. Dean's hand cups her face and their lips meet. Jo is still, frozen before she feels confident to kiss back. They pull apart for second just to crash back together in the next.

 

Jo opens her mouth to let Dean’s tongue in. It's almost desperate and just so perfect. Jo doesn't know how long it lasts. When it’s over she searches Dean’s face for a green light that this is okay. That they are okay and hopefully maybe can go further. Dean seems to struggle and Jo slouches a little.

“It’s okay, we can just–,” she starts but Dean interrupts her. “You know it would be just that. Nothing more.” Jo knows. She gave up the thought that Dean could develop feelings for her a long time ago. In response she nods with a reassuring smile and leans in for another kiss which he greedily returns. It's even hotter and they hold on to another as they make their way to Dean’s room. Jo moans into the kiss and she can feel Dean all over her and her blood pounds in her ears as they fall through the door and onto the bed.

The next day Sam and Dean are called by Cas to help him out with something (she thinks she heard the name Claire). Jo left very early in the morning because she wants to avoid the awkwardness of meeting Dean and his guilty look after last night.

 

She doesn't know if Sam knows or if Dean talks with him about what happened between them. She sends them a text saying goodbye and ‘ _see you guys around’_ before she gets into her car driving back to South Dakota.

It's a week later when she hears of the Winchesters again. Moreover, she gets a text from Sam saying that the hunt went bad and Dean’s is in a bad state. He hasn't gone out of the bunker all the time.

“Can I see him?” she asks hopefully.

“He doesn't really want to see anyone,” Sam sighs. “Can I talk to you then and you tell me what exactly happened?” Sam agrees and they meet up in a bar in town.

Jo is nursing a beer as she asks: “How is he?”

“Hiding in his room, searching through everything the men of letters have ever written.”

 

“Is it the mark?” She already knows the answer to that question. Sam nods and tells her what happened. Jo is shocked when she hears that Dean has killed those ‘friends’ of Claire brutally. “Oh, God. I've never imagined it would get that bad. He must feel horrible.”

“I know but Cas and I, we’re on it and we'll figure it out. We're gonna save my brother.” He tries his best Sam Winchester smile to reassure her but Jo has a hard time to believe it. “I wanna see him. Let me talk to him, please,” she insists. Sam hesitates before he gives in. “Okay.”

It's quiet in the bunker when Jo walks down the stairs. Sam says Dean is still in his room even though Sam tried several times to get him out to eat breakfast with him.

 

He is trying again when Jo joins him. She appears from behind Sam’s huge form leaning against the door frame. The small woman peeks shyly into the room. Dean looks up at her from his spot on the bed surrounded by lore books.

“Hi,” she grins at him.

“Hey,” Dean greets, sitting up, taking his feet off the bed to put them on the floor. “What’s up?” the older Winchester asks, looking from his brother to Jo and back. Jo walks towards him.

“We’re worried,” she shrugs. “You should go out. Come on.” Dean shoots a short glare at Sam. Then, he shakes his head. “You heard what happened. I’m not good out.” Jo looks sad. “That’s not true.”

Sam leaves them and Jo tries once again to bring Dean to come with them for breakfast or help them find a case. But he remains stubborn and goes back to his lore book, ignoring her. So, she gives up and retreats to the library where Sam is drinking coffee and has already one for her ready, too.

They haven’t found anything that looks like a case as Dean finally walks in and Jo’s face lights up.

“Hey, chuckles.” Dean rolls his eyes at her and Sam suddenly stands up, pulling his phone out. “Gotta make a call,” he says and leaves. Dean’s brow furrows but he’s beyond questioning his little brother’s sometimes strange behaviour. “Bet he’s calling Cas,” he whispers to Jo and she chuckles as Dean sits at the table across from her. He takes a sip from his coffee. Jo squints at him. He seems tense, as if there’s something he’s hiding or something he wants to say. He avoids meeting her eyes.

 

She sighs. “Spill. What is it? You know you can tell me everything, Dean.” Jo knows she won’t like it and prepares mentally for another heartbreak. She knows the signs, like she knows Dean ‘Heartbreaker’ Winchester.

Jo takes a big gulp of her coffee and Dean nods before he speaks.

“Jo, you got out. You shouldn't have come back. You shouldn't stay. Here. With me." Everything inside Jo wants to protest but the hard stare he gives her and his insistent and quiet tone keeps her mouth shut. He wants to protect her she gets that. She also gets why. It's the same reason her mother wanted to keep her away from the hunting life. It hurts nevertheless. She isn’t a little girl or a teenager any more. They are friends and more. She would do anything for him. Because he was Dean. And he hasn't changed. Not in that matter.

 

“You should go," Dean says again.

"I can't promise that I won't come back," Jo replies with a smile. "Once that damn thing on your arm is gone, you'll see me again, Winchester." She leans forward and presses a kiss to his lips before she leaves.

_~*~_

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_

_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_

_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see her when you close your eyes_

_Maybe one day you'll understand why_

_Everything you touch surely dies_

 

~*~

 

It's the end of her shift and Jo is browsing on her phone looking for college courses to refresh her knowledge and get her degree. That she left Dean doesn't mean that she gave up helping him but he has Sam and Cas who would also do everything for him and having Dean worrying about her doesn’t help anyone. She wants to give him more space. But she keeps her eyes and ears open and her phone turned on.

When she looks up because her coworker Diane puts a beer in front of her she notices the lyrics of the song that is currently playing in the background. It’s on a playlist of Diane’s iPod. Some classics and some new stuff. The refrain of the song catches her attention and she listens closely. She thinks she recognises the voice. Sounds like, what was the name of the band? She wonders. Passenger?

_~*~_

_But you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_~*~_

 

The song reminds her of Dean. She remembers how sad he looked when he sent her away.

Dean left her all these years ago and he let her go now. But now she understands why. Their relationship is complicated and it doesn’t always go well between them, she is aware of that but Jo Harvelle’s life has never been easy and neither has the Winchesters. Even though it’s hard at times like now when everything feels hopeless, Jo learned not to give up. She won’t give up on Dean and that things will get better. For now though she holds on to the memory of how fond and full of affection his smile was and how dark green his eyes have been when they have spent the night together. The thought makes her smile.

_~*~_

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark_

_Same old empty feeling in your heart_

_Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

_Well, you see her when you fall asleep_

_But never to touch and never to keep_

_Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep_

_~*~_

 

“Why are you smiling?” Diane asks. Jo blushes a little. “It’s just that song. Makes me think of something.”

“Something or _someone_ ?” Diane grins,  Jo grins back and drinks her beer.

 

~*~

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_And you let her go_

_~*~_

_The end_

  


**Author's Note:**

> I love this pairing so much and this song and I don't write enough about that ship so I had to and I probably will write more in that verse in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it and also the art.


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